The Ties That Bind – Santa Muerte Dominadora

By guest contributor Waldere Fodiens, a Santa Muerte devotee

As the devotion to Santa Muerte spreads across the world, we see how the cultural backgrounds of new devotees influence the path they take to express their connection with the Bony Lady. As such it is not strange to see that there is a growing multitude of ways in which the devotees express themselves. One of the more peculiar paths is through the use of BDSM. Certainly it will not be something that attracts every devotee, and I am sure that many will see it as not acceptable, but then we must state that our Mother knows very well how we humans work, She knows our faults, our desires, our fears and our pleasures.

One of the great pleasures in life is sexual relations. As humans we have two ways to deal with this, or we deny it, and often get frustrated because of that, which can lead to an unhealthy approach in regard with everything sexual. Or we can embrace it, and let it enrich our lives. There are of course a multitude of ways we can approach sexuality, and one which is still a great taboo for many is BDSM. Some despise even the word, some can’t get enough of it.

A question arises, does BDSM have a right of existence in the occult or spiritual world? My personal answer to that is yes. The energy aroused by submitting to another person, being tied up, so one is helpless, or the giving or receiving of pain can be a very powerful tool in devotion and magic. And for one thing, it certainly isn’t anything new, we see through history that many great names have used it in one way or another, just to mention two of them Aleister Crowley and Gerald Gardner.

Crowley is known to many by his self chosen name “The Great Beast”, and was a fond explorer of many sexual paths as a tool for rituals and magic, and from what is written, he seems to have loved the cane in more than one way. Also Gardner seems to have had his favorite tools, the lash, the cane, the whip, all are present in one way or another in his rituals. For example he insisted that those who were going to be initiated would strengthen their body, mostly he pointed to ways to confront the body with its limits, like through long walks, surviving in the wild and so on, but for those for which this was not an option, he had no issue that they would be caned, whipped or flogged. As the story goes, he himself liked a good session, as he was asthmatic and not capable of using other methods to extend the limits of what his body could take.

So we shouldn’t find it strange that also in the devotion to the Bony Lady, BDSM is finding its way, next to prayers, rituals, blood or sex magic and so forth. We do have to state that the four letters hold a wide variety of methods and interests. Some will prefer light bondage, just enough to arouse the sexual aspect a bit more, and most often these will end in orgasm, whereas those that prefer the harder or rougher aspects usually find no need to end with an orgasm, the pleasure and pain is more than sufficient for them.

There isn’t a great difference between a day to day BDSM session and a ritualistic one, the same tools are used, the room will most likely be the same and the bondage, submission or sadomasochism will be the same. The big difference is how we work with it, from the moment that we get ready to endure ritual BDSM we must in mind prepare ourselves, in thoughts of words we put why we are joining and to what purpose. If we wish to dedicate or pain and pleasure to the Skinny Lady it is good to have a representative statue, image of painting of Her on a prominent space in the chamber we use, when entering the room and before the session begins, we take some time to connect to the Pretty Girl, we pray or meditate a short while before Her image, dedicating all the energy of the session to Her, to accept and do with as She desires.

We can put a request forward at the start of the session or just give it all to La Madre. As She is strongly connected to humans, She understands our needs and will fulfill them when possible. Always keep in mind that small requests are easy to be granted, larger ones maybe will need their time, or come in a different way. We have to trust La Madre, that She will take care of us and grant us what we truly need in each time period of our lives. That also is a kind of submission to the grandeur of Santa Muerte.

We then proceed with the session as would be done during a general BDSM experience, and with the tools or practices that we have agreed on with our partner. As this is a close, personal and deep experience, we do it only with a consenting partner. Once the session is finished, we take time to thank the Skinny Lady for it, again confirming that all energy from it is for Her to use as she sees fit.

We then leave the room and return to daily life. As stated previously, this is not a pathway that will be for every devotee of the Lady in Red, but if you feel attracted to it, explore it deeper and consider making it a part of your devotion. Many will be pleasantly surprised how much depth it can bring with it. And as such it can deepen your connection with Santa Muerte greatly. For it is not because we use pleasure as a way to direct energy, that there are no deep and spiritual experiences connected with it.

That there is an interest in this pathway in general is proven by the fact that several books have been published about the deeper connection between BDSM and spirituality. It is and remains a unique path, but it is good to explore it, even if it is just in theory, if the practice doesn’t attract you.